Big Changes

I know it's been awhile since I posted. Recently, my laptop, Midna, died. I'd tried to save here, but in the process of repairing the graphics card, I managed to damage one of the wires that let to the screen. I'd managed to fix the one problem though, but was getting no visual.While I know it's just a laptop, I was devastated.This was the first piece of electronics I'd been able to tear apart and repair on my own. My brother and sister had the same model and both died within a year.

While I now have a new laptop, Cadence, that I've both on my own, which is also a first, it's still not my Midna.

Aside from that, I've been kind of lost in my own depression and anxiety. I'll be moving in September into my own place. It's a nice condo with a master bedroom and a loft space. The loft will be used for me sewing room. I'm so excited for that but also extremely scared at the same time. I know I can do this. I know I'll be fine once I'm settled but between now and then...owie...

The main reason I decided to move, even though I'm not 100% ready, is because things with my mom haven't been the best. It's bounced back and forth but honestly, my sanity can't handle the constant mood swings and the blaming of other and nit picking of everything anyone does for her. It's taken such a toll on me mentally since my surgery last September.

Because of the things at home going south, my anxiety has gotten worse. I say one of my doctors, because my primary care doctor thought I was having a serious heart problem. After telling her everything that had been happening, she put me on a low dose of a heart medication that also helps with anxiety. For the most part, it helps. I don't feel like my heart is going to explode all the time. It's such a low dose that when I get to the point where things calm down, I can go off of it easy. There are still other issues I have but... I trying to focus on the fact that part of what's been causing me so much stress will be gone soon.

Hopefully I'll be able to get back to being my normal little self. Where I can curl up with Korick and Sakura Bunny and watch cartoons. My sippy cups can go in the dishwasher. I plan on getting kid dishes for myself. My stuffies will have there own place and so will my monster high collection... and daddy said that my sewing loft will be my little space.