Adventures of Sakura Bunny

*tap tap, tap tap* is this thing on?

Hello interwebs! My name is Sakura Bunny. I'm miss Ania's newest Build-a-Bear. Mama hasn't been feeling well lately, so I decided to post about an adventure I had a couple weekends ago! You know, just to help Mama out since she's been so down lately. :)

A couple weekends ago Mama's Aunty Em was visiting. Now they haven't seen each other in a REALLY long time, so Mama had planned an adventure for the 3 of us in Seattle! So we got up super early and got ready for our adventure. Mama want to get up to the city while it was still waking up. So we packed and got ready for the day.

I got to hang out in Mama's All Things Lavender bag.

 Again it was really early!!! Mama tried to get Korick to come too, but he did not want to leave the bed! He's such an old man sometimes!!! XD

 We where dropped off in Tukwilla at the light rail station. Mama said it was her favorite way to travel to the city and Aunty Em hadn't ridden on it ever!

I got to sit on Aunty Em's lap the whole way to Seattle. ^_^ It was really exciting!!! The train moves so fast and in some places is up over the freeway! We where up above the cars!

When we got to the city, it was so quite and everything was so tall! So I took pictures of the buildings as we wandered down to the market.

This is Pike Place Market. Mama said that later in the day, it would be packed with people! But while we where there, it was quite and there where a lot of yummy smells coming from all over. It was so cool!

This is the famous throwing fish stand.  When we came back later in the day, it was so busy we couldn't get close. I wanted to get my picture taken with the guys (they where cute!!!) but I was to shy.

This is the very first Starbucks ever in the world. Mama told us that she had something way better planned for breakfast then coffee. It's 8am and the line was already out the door!

While I didn't get a picture of the sign, this place is called Piroshki Piroshki! It had a line too, but it was moving quickly and note down the block like Starbucks. It smelled SO GOOD in here! Mama also said that her hero Anthony Bourdain had been here a few years back. So she had to stop to drool over his pictures there.

Don't they look yummy!!! We got once that had raisins and cinnomin and a little orange pill in it. It was amazing!!! All made by hand right in front of us! Aunty Em got one that was stuffed with mushrooms and cheese and onion. Also yummy! Mama loves good food made fresh like this so she was all giggley. I can understand why!

We stopped for a moment to eat and watched the cheese place make cheese Aunty Em said that her dad worked for a cheese company so she had learned a lot about cheese from him. Mama only remembers a little of him, but she did remember how much he loved good cheese.

We started wondering through the market again. We found this giant squid! I wanted to climb on top of him, but Mama said I couldn't make a scene. Plus he was super high up in the air.

 So I settled for getting my picture taken with Big Foot. He was a very gentle giant. :)

 We where in Seattle so early, many places in the market where still closed. This is one of Mama's favorite stores. It smelled so good and the doors weren't even open yet. She promised to come back later.

We then started to walk back up towards the mall where we got off the light rail. Mama told us she had booked a special tour for us to take. We where going to ride a duck!!!

Well... not a real duck. It was this boat that was also a vehicle. This was just the ticket booth. We where still early for our tour, but we picked up our tickets anyway. People where lining up early and buying tickets. Mama had ordered ours online a couple nights before.

We got quakers!!! It's a whistle that makes duck noises!!! Mama quickly took it back after this because Aunty Em and I where running around and making noise. Mama said she needed coffee before that kind of merriment. We'd been up forever so we both agreed with her.

So I got a passion sweet tea lemonaid. It was very good. It really helped perked me up.

Just then the boat pulled up! We got super excited and ran to the front of the line to board.

 The stairs where very narrow. It was really scary because the whole boat moved too when you took a step on those stairs. I ducked into mama's bag. She could do the scary walking up the stairs. I was not coming out until we where safely seated!!!

 This is our captain. He's name was Captain Jacked Up. He was super cute!!! SUPER SUPER CUTE!!! Aunty Em and Mama where to busy making eyes at him.

We where off!!! To the Star Wars theme!!! The other boats we'd seen take off had lame songs that where way old, but we got Star Wars!!! STAR WARS!!! Captain Jack's hat was sparkley too. Did I mention he was super cute?

This is one of those weird things that's photographed all the time. It's a car wash though and the sign spins. Mama said that she use to drive by it every day on her way to work back when she took the bus.

This was on the Aurora Bridge. Way way way in the distance, Mama said you could see Bellevue, another big city. Mama said that her and Daddy use to live over there. Mama gave Aunty Em her version of the tour, but she wouldn't let me listen because she said it wasn't G rated.

So I pouted and looked out the side of the boat.

This was a land and sea tour. This is the boat ramp to lake Union. I'd never been in a boat on water before!!! I was worried we where going to squish the car that was getting their boat into the water!

Charging forward into the lake! Captain Jack loved to switch hats!

OMGOMGOMG!!! The water was so close!!!

 So so close!!!

 It was SeaFair weekend. A lot of people where on boats in the water. Mama said SeaFair was happening on a different lake on the other side of the city. We where going to avoid that side because of the crowds.

 We could see a lot of the skyline of the city! We could even see the Space Needle!

This is Gas Works Park. It's an old factory that they kept part of as an art piece. A lot of people where out there to enjoy the sunshine. We have had a summer this year which Mama said was really rare for Washington state.

The Aurora Bridge. We'd drive over this!

There where a lot of house boats around the lake. This one I liked because it had such a cute little porch.

This was the Sculpture Park. The silver tree in the picture is made of metal! Captain Jack said to not stand by it during a lightening storm.

Once we got back into the city, the tour went pretty fast so I wasn't able to get many pictures. Aunty Em was to busy playing on her whistle and Mama was to busy laughing at her. Mama about passed out from laughing. It was really kind of funny.

When we got off the boat, I promised myself I'd get this picture! Isn't he cute!!! He was so nice to take this with me! He even gave me a hug after! Mama was super excited too. She was a little upset he wasn't in his Indiana Jones hat though... but she did threaten to steal it from him... >_>

After the tour, we wandered back around the city and to Pike Place. It was really busy now, so I hid in the bag. Mama bought a lot of stuff! The bag I was in is from Grandma's favorite lavender shop. So we had to stop by to restock Grandma's stash. She was going on a trip with Aunty Em and Mama wanted to make sure she had travel sized versions of her favorite products.

We even stopped at the International District to pick up some treats for Daddy. We bought so many things! I've never shopped so much before!!! We... except for at Build a Bear

Once we'd finished all our shopping, we got back on the light rail train. I was really tired. Mama let me sit by the window again. We where up over part of the city here. It was really cool.

Daddy picked us up and took us home. It was a super fun day, but really long. There was lots of yummy food and cute boys! So many cool things to see! I'm hoping we go on another adventure soon. Though it won't be as much fun without Aunty Em.

Another foot update

I have one of those big life changing blogs to post, but it's one of those ones I don't want to be more normal rambling stuff. So it's still in the works. I am due for an update though.

I was cleared to walk without the boot full time last Wednesday. I was ecstatic. I missed shoes and matching socks. While this did mean a funeral for all the single ones I’ve been wearing that have lost mates over the years, I really wanted to wear shoes again on both feet. I was told I could jump back in and not worry about it. Now when I told my physical therapist this, they were not pleased. There was concern; they urged me to get a light brace for my ankle and to still limit my time on my feet. Thursday was Thanksgiving. This is my second favorite holiday and not because of feasting (I HATE turkey) but because I get to cook, a lot. My turkey takes 24 hours in total. That’s from making the brine to having it carved and on the table. I ended up making the whole dinner. 5 hours of kitchen time, dancing and singing and all around enjoying myself. By the end of dinner though, I was in too much pain to even walk. I literally crawled to my room once out of sight of people. I was packed in ice and grounded to the couch until I crawled to bed later that night.

I was off my feet most of Friday. Saturday I did shopping with my mom, and again, pain crept up on me. Couched again with ice. Sunday and Monday I was suddenly having horrible lower back pain as well as my left hip and thigh breaking out in spasms of intense pain. I tried to blame it on other things, the makings of a kidney infection, the chairs at work, my shoes, ANYTHING but my foot.

Tonight at physical therapy, I was pushed really hard. I was pushed to the point I was in tears and flat out said that I could not do anymore. I couldn't do what they wanted me too at all. I told them about the back and pain in my leg and they said I wasn't ready to be on my feet as much as I normally am. I still have to take it easy.

I'm not a wimp by any means. This whole experience has proven to many people my pain tolerance, but it took everything I had to not cry at therapy tonight. Not just because of pain either, but because I'm so frustrated with this. I hate having a limit. When I got home, it was Mad Hatter jammies and teddy and once dinner is done, I’m back down with the heating pad.

My dad had brought up going to see King Tut next week and doing our Seattle adventure, but after tonight at therapy, I was told to not attempt it unless we drove and I not be on my feet for more than an hour at a time, maybe 2 at max. While there are other issues around things with that, I’m still rather devastated I might not get to see it. I’ve tried to not admit it to myself or let it get to me, at least not since my pity party in October. It's December and the holidays, I want to do my yearly shopping day downtown and get my favorite treats and walk the market and go to the toy stores and while I think I can swing it, I’m scared to go alone. I'm sorry this is such a rant, but everything is still so fresh in my mind. This hurts my heart and I want a cuddle.

Scared of the Big Wide World

Last Monday, at about 3am, I awoke having an anxiety attack. The trigger you ask? The thought of going into Seattle to meet up with a very dear friend from work. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I cuddled my bear, filled my sippy cup with warm water, heck! I even tried reading and playing a game, but nothing would help calm me back down and get back to sleep. I was sure I wasn’t going to be able to go. I was counting on the fact that I would have been too exhausted and could have made up an excuse to not go. Somehow, I managed to drift back to sleep for another hour. My friend ended up having to cancel, but I made myself go into the city anyway.

Most people don’t know I have a mass fear of going out. Straying outside of my daily routine causes me to go into huge panics. Being with someone often helps, but it’s still there. This attack was triggered by the fact I’d be going into Seattle by bus alone outside of work. It’s stupid, I know. I hate myself every time it happens. I’ve canceled interviews and dates with friends in the past. Shortly after I graduated college, there was a period where I refused to leave the house without Shadow. I just couldn’t do more then take out the trash. 

Then there came a day when I made myself walk to the store. It was a few blocks down the road. I grabbed my cd player, and made the trek even though everything inside was screaming at me to stay at home. I was so proud when I made it to the store, I let myself wonder in the fabric shop too. I bought myself a package of grape tomatoes and ate every one when I got home before Shadow even got home. It was a huge deal for me. This is what began my own personal therapy to overcome the anxiety. Over the years, whenever I went out on my own, I would make sure I did a little something for myself. My favorite candy, lunch, a pretty to wear, something to reward myself for doing it. I had to keep telling myself that it was ok, I can do this and nothing bad will happen.

 I might have shared this before, but here's Hope in her little pocket

Recently, even though I still have a Daddy to a degree, I do not have a lover. Shadow still encourages, supports and guards me to a degree, but the lover part has been dead for about 2 months now. It’s taken time to find a balance again, but with the realization of him being gone, I’ve found that I have a few more attacks then I’m use too. I started carrying my small stuffed fox, Hope again. She fits nicely in my purse and is good for a quick cuddle when things a rough. The attack on Memorial day was so different then the small ones I’ve had recently, that I consciously made the effort to not let it win again.

As soon as I got into downtown, I went into my favorite store and got a new makeup bag. Another Harajuku Lovers number, but I can find my nail clippers and Band-Aids now AND it was on sale!!! I then stopped and picked up a few things at an Asian dollor store, which was part of the plan for the day. A new bento box that needs to be bedazzled and some cute accessories for it. This is a project I’ll go into in another post, but I’ve been wanting to do bentos for a while now. Then it was a quick lunch and a trip into the candy store for a treat for me and my sister for laters. I walked down to Pike Place and got myself lost for a while, got some huckleberry ice cream and caught the bus to the international district. It was wonderfuly calm and quite there. It was the perfect end to my shopping trip. I bought some tasty treats for my bento, some romune and a soda for the trek back home. I decided to take the train to Tukwila, another guilty pleasure of mine. 

When I got home, I texted Shadow with what I had done. I made a point to not use my phone during the day to fully give myself a day to focus on enjoying my little adventure. He was so proud I went out on my own that it was almost a reward within itself. Even without that though, I felt good I’d done it. I might have looked silly constantly checking my purse pocket to make sure Hope could see out, but I did it. For the most part, I was little when I did it too and no one looked at me any different. 

I know that other littles suffer from some form of anxiety. The key I’ve found over the years is to find something that works for you. The reward system works for me. Treat yourself to a peddie or an ice cream for making it to your interview, even if you bomb it. You still did it. Meeting a friend for lunch, split a desert and know your half will be sweeter for going out and spending time with someone outside of your partners. We all have strength to overcome these things on our own. Yes, it is nice to have the additional support, but it’s good to know you can do it on your own too.