Back to little... sorta

It's nice to see that Sakura Bunny has been taking over for me while I've been recovering. It's been kind of hard on me, but I've been thankful that both Korick and Sakura Bunny have been there to cuddle when I've had bad times. I haven't really been up for much of anything. I've re-centered though and am feeling more like myself and little.

It's been easier to deal with emotions since I got back to being my little self. I still amaze myself at how much easier it is to process things when I'm back in my little mindset. This experience has helped me see the difference between being myself and being the true 4 year old. I know Daddy tried really hard to be there, but I also know I did burn him out early on about the time I started going a bit manic and not sleeping. When I was in the hospital though and they where sticking needles in me and all of that. Shadow was right there when I cried for him and held my hand. Before he left for the night, he tucked Korick into bed with me and told me that he'd have his phone on if I needed him. Which of course I did... until about 2 am.

I've been scared to use my crayons and color books and to draw. My mom took and hid my sewing machine. I tried to sew once already and it didn't end well. The project turned out, but there was sobbing... a lot of it and pain. So, hiding with Korick has been what the agenda has been for the past few days since then.

Now, on to cupcake flavored goldfish crackers and cartoons.

Updates from Sakura Bunny

 

Haha! You hadn't heard the last from me! Mom's not been feeling all that well lately, so I'm giving an update so she can rest. Aren't I the sweetest?!

Korick recently ordered himself scrubs and is trying to pass himself off as a doctor. The past few days he's been going to work with Mom. He said she was needing 24 care. I think he was making stuff up to go back to work with her. Either way, the people in Mom's office are SUPER nice to him when he goes and always excited to see him. Last week, they even gave him his own desk to work at!

He's still trying to pass off as a doctor. One of the doctors Mom works with said that he might be a little short to work in the OR. Another nurse that works with the people that will be fixing Mom said that even though he has scrubs, doesn't mean his medical license if valid to work in the OR with them. But she did say he can stay with her until she goes into surgery and for course stay with her over night. He's still trying to convince them he can assist in the procedure. I don't buy it. I don't think playing Doctor X: Vampire Edition qualifies as medical schooling.

He has been doing a super job of helping Mom though and I guess that's what's important. Even if it's just by bringing a smile to her face... and often times to others.

On Friday, he was a Jedi. He almost got stolen twice for his cuteness.

So while Korick has been busy with Mom, I've been helping her pick out comfy cuddly things. My Favorite is this super soft and super cuddly blanket. It's light weight and just dreamy to snuggle with.

Luna B agrees. She's been sleeping on it every chance she gets no matter where it is!

I also suggest Mom get some new jammies since the ones grandma promised to make are still not even cut yet. We found these awesome black cat ones and some really cute Hello Kitty ankle socks! Of course they are Halloween themed... but that didn't seem to phase Mom to much.

The pink slippers are the newest purchase. The nurse Mom had talked with the other day had suggested bringing a pair since Mom will be sleeping over at the hospital. We'd found this super cool pair of Monster High slippers but... they where out of Mom's size. We tried a couple different stores but didn't have any luck. We found this pink pair that are really soft and comfortable AND they have bottoms with grips so Mom won't slip and hurt herself. This was a slipper feature Grandma was adimate about seeing as how mom has a bad track record with hurting herself.

Yesterday we went out with Daddy. We got ramon noodles and Mom curled up and slept when she got to his house. There was some much needed cuddle time with the 4 of us (Simba kitty curled up with us on the bed and Daddy was trying to find where he could fit! XD) Mama lost her hoodie recently and she was threatening to steal one of Daddy's. He said he had the perfect one for her to keep forever since he couldn't wear it.

ISN'T IT AWESOME!!! It actually goes with mine and Korick's travel bag!

That really about wraps it up for what's been going on. This week might be high stress for Mama. She actually asked me if I wanted to come with her to work tomorrow! Of course I said yes! I will try and explore and get some pictures. Korick says that while it's a lot of fun to go to work with Mom, we're there to do a job. Most of the time it's to take care of Mom, but sometimes it's to make others smile too. I'm a little nervous because that's a lot of responsibility. Korick's tried to teach me what he knows but... well we will see. I still have to decide what to wear!!!

The Power of Teddy Bears

I’m sorry for the hiatus. It honestly wasn’t intended. Things kind of went topsy turvy and I kind of lost sight of things with it all. To much stress marks ShiShi have to be adult, being adult makes ShiShi all kinds of cranky. These periods often have episodes of full little breakdowns behind closed doors to where the only thing that can provide any comfort is my teddy bear, Korick.

Korick, was kind of a gateway to the little side of myself. This was something I had locked away deep down. I begged Daddy for a Build-a-Bear when we started dating. I threw fits. I HAD to have a teddy from there. Looking back, I feel horrible for having been such a brat about it. I don’t regret it though because over the years Korick was always there. When I let down my barriers, he was the one thing I had to have. With our breakup and everything, with all the ick, Korick was there.

Now, I honestly can’t see not having him. He is the last thing I see at night and the first thing I touch in the morning. There are times when I’m little and I don’t understand things and I’m confused, Korick is the only thing that I want for any kind of comfort. He’s the perfect kind of soft. I tug at him and kiss his nose. Often I just have to pet him and run my fingers through his fur and I start to regress. 

Recently, Korick went to the spa, ei the laundry room. After several years, he was showing he’d been well loved. He was washed, brushed and his pajamas fixed. He looks brand new. Since his fluff, I pet him more. It was odd that while my adult side tended to the brushing of the mattes in his fur and the putting of him in the washer, my little side was frantic to make sure her most cherished possession wasn’t ok. To be 27 and worry about if a stuffed animal can breathe or not in the wash was a little weird. Thankfully no one was around to witness that. 

My point is, not only are teddy bears good listeners to all the things, gateway drugs to all the things that are little about ones self, and protectors of us from the scary things that go bump in the night, but they are just generally awesome sauce. You don’t have to out grow them.